Title: S1E24 Moment Of Truth
Show: John Kiriakou's Dead Drop
Date: 2026-04-20
URL: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/68e695c6d798804c9e4bbd13/e/69e4199dabe143da5bb4bae6/media.mp3
Duration: 1:00:49

---

[06:22] I had a friend who was one of the 13 who said yes to the torture training. And he came up to me a day or two before the torture began. And he said, well, we're going to start this thing. It's going to happen in the next day or two days. And I said, man, I think this is a terrible mistake. It's a terrible mistake. We shouldn't be in the business of torture. And he said, it's not torture. The Justice Department's attorneys told us that it's not torture. And I said, you know, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this. But either way, it's not going to work.

[06:54] Sure enough, just a couple of days later on August 2nd, we began torturing him. And he immediately clammed up. The agreement between the CIA and the Justice Department was that there were these 10 techniques, but that the contract psychologists, James Mitchell and Bruce Jessen, would start with the easiest technique, grab them by the shirt and give them a shake. And it would graduate to a smack on the belly. And then that would graduate to a smack across the face. And it would go all the way up to waterboarding, which was supposed to be the worst.

[07:27] I always thought that there were other techniques that were worse than waterboarding. One was the cold cell. The prisoner is stripped naked. He's chained to an eyeballed in the ceiling, so he can't get comfortable in any way. He can't sit or kneel or lay. His cell is chilled to 50 degrees Fahrenheit. And then every hour a CIA officer goes into the cell and throws a bucket of ice water on him. Well, we murdered prisoners using that technique. The other technique that I always thought was worse than waterboarding was sleep deprivation.

[08:00] The Secretary of Defense at the time was Donald Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld used to brag that he had a stand-up desk in his office. He didn't even have a seat. And sometimes he would work for 24 hours and he was deprived of sleep. And that's not torture. But that's not at all what we were talking about. We know from the American Psychological Association that people begin to lose their minds at day seven with no sleep. They begin to die of organ failure at day nine with no sleep.

[08:30] Well, the CIA was authorized to keep prisoners awake for up to 12 days. And this is being chained to that eyeballed in the ceiling, having industrial strength lights on all the time, and just loops of death metal or children's jingles just playing 24 hours a day to make you crazy. And that's exactly what happened. We made them crazy. Another thing, and this was outlined in great detail in the Senate torture report, there were some techniques that required safeguards. For example, there was a technique called walling,

[09:01] where you grab the prisoner by the shirt and you slam him into a plywood wall. But you have to have a bath towel wrapped around his neck so that he doesn't get whiplash. Well, with Khaled Sheikh Mohammed's son-in-law, they slammed him into the wall. But uh-oh, the wall was concrete block and not plywood. Plywood has a little bit of give, concrete block doesn't, and they forgot to put the towel around his neck. In the end, he suffered from a traumatic brain injury that he has never recovered from, to the point where even the Pentagon acknowledges

[09:33] that he is unable to participate in his own defense. He has permanent brain damage. The Justice Department never said, smash their heads against the wall until they have brain damage. The Justice Department never said, freeze them until they die, or keep them awake until their organs shut down and they drop dead, and then you just dig a ditch on the side of the building and bury them in the ditch. Nobody at the CIA ever had permission to do something like that. I was apprehensive about the interview.

[10:04] That was on a Monday. On Wednesday, Bush gave this press conference. On Friday, he was leaving the South Portico of the White House, walking to the Presidential Helicopter Marine 1 to fly to Camp David for the weekend. Since the invention of the helicopter, reporters would stand out there on Fridays and shout questions at whoever happened to be President. On that day, a reporter shouted a question about torture, and Bush stopped. He normally ignored those questions, but he stopped, and he turned to the reporter and he said very pointedly,

[10:37] well, if there is torture, it's because of a rogue CIA officer. That made me immediately think Brian Ross's source is at the White House, and they're going to pin this on me. Remember, I was the one who had displayed a shocking lack of commitment to counterterrorism because I refused the training. On Monday, I went to see my bosses at Deloitte, my director and managing partner. I told them the situation, they are going to accuse me of being instrumental in the CIA's torture program and in torturing prisoners.

[11:10] Possibly to death, I want permission to go on the show and defend myself. It was clear to me that Deloitte had never dealt with a situation like this. Now my immediate boss, my director, was a former CIA employee. He was an analyst, but he had been there for 20-something years. He understood the CIA culture, things like this happen, and people get stabbed in the back. He recommended to the managing partner that I be allowed to go on the show. They wrote up a memo that the general counsel signed, my partner signed, and I signed.

[11:40] Said that I could go on the show and defend myself, but I was not permitted to mention Deloitte or any Deloitte client. I said, oh, don't worry, that will never come up. And it never did. I had a copy of this letter and they kept copies of the letter. A couple of days later, I went on the show. Brian Ross came to Washington and we met at the ABC Studios on DeSales Street just off of Connecticut Avenue. I went with Catherine and she sat just off camera. I decided in the days leading up to that interview

[12:12] that no matter what he asked me, I would simply tell the truth. I said a lot in the interview. I said three things that were the most important. I said that the CIA was torturing its prisoners. I said that torture was official U.S. government policy. It was not the result of a rogue. And I said that the policy had been personally approved by the president himself. And did you and other CIA officers feel without a doubt you had the legal right to do what you're doing? Absolutely. Absolutely. And then the entire U.S. government seemed to fall on my head.

[12:46] I really believed that the information was so out there that even if the CIA had never released it formally, it didn't matter. Plus, I believed in my heart that it was so illegal. I didn't care what the Justice Department said. This was an illegal program. And there's a law in this country that makes it illegal to classify a crime. If an element of the U.S. government is involved in criminal activity, it is illegal to classify the information for the purpose of keeping it from the American public.

[13:16] We are obligated. Our members of the military are obligated to refuse to follow illegal orders. If you are ordered to commit a war crime or a crime against humanity, you are compelled to refuse to carry out the order. We don't want a Nazi Germany-style Holocaust to take place at the hands of the American military. I finished the interview and the first thing I did was say to Catherine, how did I do? And she said, you were great.

[13:48] Really? I didn't say anything classified, right? No, you were great. And so I walked home and I thought, well, we'll see what happens tomorrow. How bad could it be after all? It was just the truth. I honestly believe that this would be a one-day story. I figured there'd be a little bit of excitement at the agency. It might be a little kerfuffle between the Director of Operations and the Office of Security. I really genuinely did not think that I had said anything that the American people

[14:18] shouldn't have heard. Brian Ross called me the next day and he said, hey, would you like to come up and watch it go live on World News Tonight? And then we'll have dinner and then we'll go back to the studio and we'll watch it on Nightline. I said, yeah, that sounds like fun. They put me up in a hotel. I went up to New York. My plane was delayed. I actually missed the breaking story on World News Tonight. When I landed at LaGuardia, I've only been on the plane for an hour. I turned my phone on and the mailbox was full. Oh my God, what's happened?

[14:49] So I started listening to the messages. A couple were from friends, family members. One was from Catherine who said essentially, oh no. And the rest, dozens of voicemails were from journalists from all around the world. I realized this is a major international story. I had opened a Pandora's box. The CIA was on its heels. I went into ABC News. Brian said, my God, this is bigger than we ever imagined. So we sort of hung around until Nightline.

[15:20] There was a much longer version of the interview on Nightline than there was on World News Tonight. I got a call from my boss. He wanted to see me in Dallas first thing in the morning. I said, okay, I'm in New York, but I'll get the first flight. I fly to Dallas. When I arrived, he told me not to come into the office and indeed not to come onto any Deloitte property. And I thought, oh shit, this is bad. I went to a hotel. I got early check in and my phone is just ringing off the hook.

[15:51] One of the calls was from NPR. The reporter there wanted my reaction to a statement by Senator Roy Blunt, a Republican from Missouri. He was either the number one or the number two on the Senate Intelligence Committee. He wanted to see me hanging from a tree. I was so flabbergasted by the statement. I just said, look, it's an election year and Senator Blunt wants to win reelection. And I'm an easy punching bag today. And that was all I could think to say. My boss called back and he said, go back to Washington.

[16:22] Come into your office at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. I knew what that meant. I flew back to Washington. I actually got to my office at seven o'clock in the morning, boxed up everything I had in there, stuffed it in my car, met him at nine o'clock and he brought some toady from HR with him. As soon as she walked in, I knew exactly what was happening. But in the meantime, I'm glad to say I had the presence of mind to call an attorney. I said, listen, I think I'm going to get fired today. And I explained the situation.

[16:53] But I have this letter and it's signed by the general counsel of Deloitte and by my partner. And it specifically says that I can go on TV. She said, oh, we have them by the balls. It's not my nature to be combative in meetings. It's not my nature to be combative with anybody, let alone with my superiors. But I gave right back as well as I took in that meeting. Finally, he said to me, this is my director. He said, I want you to resign. I said, absolutely not. I really did feel righteous indignation.

[17:24] They told me I could do this and I went on the show and told the truth. I was flabbergasted by the position that the company was taking on this. I told the truth in exposing a crime. I did it with their permission and they wanted to fire me. And I said, you gave me written permission to do this. Well, we didn't know it was going to be a big international story. Well, I didn't know it was going to be a big international story. You know, this is going to blow over in a couple of days. Which of course it did. They wanted my resignation and they wanted it like right then.

[17:56] I said, not in a million years. If you don't resign, I'm going to fire you. I pulled my attorney's business card out of my shirt pocket. This is my attorney. I speak only through her. I stood up and walked out. One of my colleagues called me about an hour later and said that as soon as I walked out of the office, the director called him and said, in a panic, did you know he had an attorney? As it turned out, one of my neighbors from a few houses down also was a director at Deloitte. And of course, this was the talk of the firm.

[18:29] He walked down to my house that night and he said, boy, you really stepped in it today, didn't you? Yeah, I didn't expect this reaction, especially since they put the noose around their own necks by giving me this letter. Let me tell you what's going on behind the scenes. The CEO is a Luddite. He doesn't like computers. So he's got this big bulletin board in the office. And the bulletin board is covered with three by five cards being held up with thumbtacks. And each three by five card has a problem on it. And his goal every day is to remove as many of the three by five cards as he can.

[19:02] He said, one of those three by five cards says, John Kiriakou. And they want this thing over with. They want you out and they want to be done with it. They're going to offer you six weeks of severance just between us. And I never said this. They're willing to go 18 months. Sure enough, the next day they offered me six weeks of severance. And my attorney laughed at them and said, forget it. You dug this hole. You're going to have to climb out of it. Negotiations went on for about five days. They agreed in the end to 18 months of severance.

[19:33] They gave it to me in one lump sum. Now, what was hard about all that is they give you that in one lump sum and the tax bite is monstrous. And I lost my health insurance for my entire family. I had four kids at the time. So we lost that just as this was happening, the entire economy tanks. And we went into the great recession of 2008, 2009. They fired me. Essentially, I resigned is what it was less than two weeks before Christmas, just in time for the recession to begin two weeks after that.

[20:05] A couple of days after I gave the interview, I opened the Washington Post like I did every day and sat down with a cup of coffee. There I see in black and white, the CIA had filed what's called a crimes report against me, telling the Justice Department that I had revealed not just classified information, but top secret information. Top secret information is said to cause grave danger to the national security. Not danger, not great danger, grave danger.

[20:38] Lives are being lost. That was ludicrous. It was absurd. But this is what they do. The Post and CNN as well reported that I was under investigation for espionage. I called a friend of mine, was not in government, but traveled at very senior government circles. His response was fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And I said, no, I'm calling you so that I feel better about things. And he says, buddy, you need to hire an attorney like right now. I hired arguably the best criminal defense attorney in all of Washington,

[21:10] Plato Kacheros. Plato said, you didn't commit a crime. Nobody in America knows more about the espionage act than I do. And I'm telling you, you didn't commit a crime. Relax. As it turned out, the FBI investigated me for the next year, from December of 2007 to December of 2008. And then in December of 2008, they sent Plato something called a declination letter, declining to prosecute me. This is very unusual. This was a statement by the FBI. Usually, you don't even know if you're under investigation.

[21:42] And even if you do know, they never tell you we've concluded the investigation, you're not being charged. In this case, they wrote us a letter saying that they had concluded the investigation. They had concluded that I had not committed a crime and the case was closed. I think that Robert Mueller felt so strongly about the torture program. He believed it was a crime, certainly. I think he instructed his people in the counterintelligence division to send that letter. That night, Catherine and I took the kids out to dinner and we celebrated.

[22:14] I believed I was free and clear. The CIA was furious at this development, furious. Several things began happening at the same time. First, I appear to have been exonerated. And so I get a call from John Kerry, who was just about to become chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. He invited me to come to his office for a conversation. At the same time, John Brennan, an old nemesis of mine from the CIA, is named CIA director.

[22:45] Now he ended up not becoming CIA director in Obama's first term because the progressive left was up in arms over this appointment. John Brennan, after all, was one of the godfathers of the torture program. Even though he endorsed Obama and worked on the Obama campaign advising Obama on national security issues, he could not deny his support of the torture program. He ended up becoming the deputy national security advisor for counterterrorism in the first term. And in the second term became CIA director because the liberals forgot about it.

[23:15] John Brennan, at the same time that I'm speaking with John Kerry, asked Eric Holder, the attorney general of the United States, to secretly reopen the case against me, which Holder did. My real detractors at the CIA were, of course, John Brennan, but also a stone cold killer by the name of Jose Rodriguez, who was the director of the counterterrorism center and went on to become the deputy director of the CIA for operations. They went to the Justice Department and Brennan asked that the case against me be secretly

[23:47] reopened. I had no idea that for the next three years, I was under constant surveillance. My telephones were all tapped and my emails were being intercepted. John Kerry offered me a job as the new senior investigator of the Senate foreign relations committee, a job that I gladly accepted. He told me that I would have carte blanche to investigate anyone and anything that I wanted, which turned out not to even vaguely be true. But that's what he said.

[24:18] And so I accepted the job. This is one of the most senior jobs on Capitol Hill. I was one of only four senior staff members. I asked John Kerry why he wanted me in this job. And he said, well, for a couple of reasons. First, nobody has taken it on the chin from the media like I have. So I know what you're going through with this press coverage. And he said, torture is wrong. It's wrong under any circumstances. Did we learn nothing from Vietnam? He wanted to extend a helping hand.

[24:50] To tell you the truth, I had nothing else going on. I was in the running for a job at one of the big polling organizations to head their Middle East office, which meant moving to Doha, gutter. That wasn't realistic. I had little kids at home. And so I accepted Kerry's offer. I started writing my first book, The Reluctant Spy, in August of 2007. So months before I blew the whistle. As I'm writing this book, I'm having to update it all the time because all these different things are happening. There were some stories that I could tell friends and family members.

[25:23] And I had specifically asked the CIA to allow me to drop my cover. They had no objections to me dropping my cover. And along with dropping cover, it dropped a lot of the cover on these operations that I was participating in. People told me all the time, you're a great storyteller. You're a great storyteller. You should get these things down on paper. Because your kids are going to want to know these stories after you're gone or your grandchildren. They're going to want to know who their grandfather was and what he did. I thought, you know what, that would be kind of a nice legacy if only for my kids and my as yet to be born grandchildren.

[25:56] And so I started writing. I really did understand from the very beginning the importance of the Abu Zubaydah operation. I was so proud of the first draft of the book. I gave it to Catherine and I said, I want you to read it. And I want you to be brutally honest in your assessment of it. A couple of days later, she came to me and she said, honestly, I hate it. I think it's terrible. What really honey, I have heard you tell these stories a thousand times. This book reads like a dry government report.

[26:26] You need to write it the way you tell it. And just that simple sentence caused me to completely change my writing style. And the change has been permanent. And so when I write, I write in kind of an airy storytelling fashion, unless I am writing a government report, which I've done over the years, in which case they're dry and direct and to the point. But I think people want to be entertained by stories. And so I write them just the way I tell them. In March of 2008, just a few months after I blew the whistle on the torture program,

[26:59] the Los Angeles Times called me and they asked me to write an op-ed on Iranian foreign policy in Latin America. I said, sure, why not? Figuring, you know, it's an easy $400. The LA Times is a major paper of record. Once I get published there, I can get published in the Washington Post or the New York Times or wherever. And maybe I can make this sort of a side hustle. So I started writing this op-ed. Well, truth be told, I had written an op-ed for them in 2007 on Afghanistan and they loved it.

[27:30] And it was one of the most viewed op-eds of the entire year, 2007. So I'm sitting at my desk at home in my den, which was aloft up on the top floor of the house. My cell phone rings. I recognize the number as coming from the CIA exchange. I answer the phone and it's an attorney in the general counsel's office. And he says to me, you better not be writing about Iran. And I said very clearly, fuck you. I don't work for you. Everything I write, I send to the Publications Review Board and you can't tell me how I can and can't make a living.

[28:03] I hung up on him. I was furious, but I sat right back down and continued to write my op-ed. I learned later, of course, that they were enraged that I would do such a thing. Now I did, at the end of the day, send that completed op-ed to the CIA's Publications Review Board for clearance. And they cleared it within 24 hours with no changes. But it wasn't quite as easy as that. The LA Times published the op-ed a few days later and Catherine was immediately called into the Office of Security.

[28:37] The Office of Security invited her into a conference room and there was a camera set up there. And the camera was on. It was recording, trying not to panic. She sat down and said, what can I do for you? And they said, well, your husband has a piece in today's LA Times about Iran and it contains information that's classified at the top secret level. And she said, that's not possible. My husband got that op-ed cleared by the Publications Review Board and he doesn't have access to top secret information.

[29:09] And the security officer said, but you do. Well, we had a rule in our house written in stone that we never talked about Iran because she worked on Iran. And I never wanted to put her in a bad position. So she called me in a panic and I said, what are they saying was classified? One was that like the Iranians had purchased a bicycle factory in Venezuela. That was one. And I forget what the other one it was something about like

[29:40] machine parts in Bolivia or something like that. I said, I've got the source material here. They're both from United Press International and Espanol. She says, please fax them to me immediately. I faxed them to her with a handwritten cover letter that I was really hoping she would show the CIA's Office of Security saying, number one, apparently there's nobody at the CIA who speaks Spanish. And apparently there's nobody at the CIA that reads the press

[30:11] because this information is not top secret. It's unclassified and everybody in Latin America read it. They got off her back and they left her alone. But this was the first of several run-ins that I was about to have with the CIA. Summertime and the living is easy. Am I right, John? That is one of the best parts of Summer Allen. Living really does feel easier. You're about to travel. Good thing you've got a couple of quince pieces going with you. They are as relaxed and comfortable as I want to feel.

[30:42] That's why whether I'm traveling or staying at home, I reach for the same quince go anywhere pieces again and again. Quince focuses on well-made essential. They're the t-shirt I reach for first every time. In all seriousness, I just bought another one today. They're my favorite t-shirts too. And when the ocean breeze kicks in at night as it does here in LA, a quince lightweight cotton sweater is sublime. And perfect for travel too, which these days has all kinds of new challenges that impact how you pack. So versatility really matters.

[31:14] You got to pack smart like a spy. That's why a pair of quince's 100% European linen pants and a couple of linen shirts are coming with me. They're breathable and easy to throw on. Sometimes I add a t-shirt underneath for a whole other look. They're the summer upgrade anyone's rotation needs. Starting at just $34. That's not a typo. No, it's not. Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you're paying for exceptional quality, not for brand markup.

[34:34] who had been the chief investigative reporter for The New York Times, The LA Times, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal and had been nominated for two Pulitzer Prizes. So we made a heck of a team, Doug and I. Well, just a few weeks into the new job, I get a call from a major human rights activist. He said he had some explosive information that he needed to pass to me. He couldn't do it on the phone. Was I free to meet? I said, absolutely. Where do you want to meet? In a classroom at Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies

[35:10] on Massachusetts Avenue in Washington, he gave me the room number. I took the subway over there, went to the room. It was not in use. The lights were off, but he was sitting inside. I said, hello, I introduced myself. If I told him I had come alone. He asked me to turn my phone off, which I did. And then he said he had a source, a new source, who was in Northern Afghanistan on November 30th, 2001. This source was 12 years old at the time and was hiding behind a large rock.

[35:40] He had witnessed something called the box up. This is what it was called at the CIA, the box up in a village called Dash D. Laylee in Northern Afghanistan. Now, what happened was on November 30th, 2001, 2000 Taliban soldiers gave up en masse to the Northern Alliance, which was allied with the United States. They all gave up. They laid down their arms, put their hands in the air, and just surrendered. The Northern Alliance called the CIA, what do we do with these 2000 men?

[36:11] There's not a prison in the country that is big enough to hold them. And we said, put them in trucks, take them out into the desert, and hold them there until we can divide them up and spread them to jails all around Afghanistan. We'll put them in groups of 10 or 15 or 20 and just jail them until we can figure out what to do with them. Well, one of the senior most officials in the Northern Alliance was a monster by the name of General Abdur-Isid Dostam. Dostam had been on the side of the Soviets,

[36:43] then he switched to the side of the Taliban, then he switched to the Northern Alliance, then he switched to the Karzai government where he was vice president, then he switched back to the Taliban, all the while massacring anybody who stood in his way. Dostam ordered all 2000 Taliban soldiers to be put in tractor trailers, semis. But nobody ever thought to punch holes in the truck for them to breathe. There was no water. Of the 2000 that were put in the trucks, 14 lived.

[37:16] And one of the survivors said that when they opened the trucks in the desert, the bodies fell out like sardines from a can. I always believed that Dostam did it on purpose. That was his nature. He was a genocidal, murderous maniac. What this human rights activist was telling me was that his source was a little boy at the time. He was hiding behind a rock and he was watching the Taliban soldiers be loaded into the truck. But what was explosive was that he saw two white men wearing blue jeans and boots and wearing black t-shirts.

[37:49] And they were speaking English. Well, the official account of the Dasti Lely box up was that there were no Americans on site. So what Americans are going to be in Dasti Lely, Afghanistan on November 30th, 2001, other than the CIA? So my head was spinning when I came out of that meeting. I went straight back to the office and I wrote a letter to the CIA recounting the facts as I had heard them and asking for clarification.

[38:19] Was the CIA there? And if so, what were they doing there? I sent the letter to the CIA under John Kerry's Utopen signature. On the same day, November 30th, 2001, there was an uprising about 20 miles away at an old fort called Khaled Ejungvi. There were hundreds of Taliban prisoners being held at the fort. There were CIA officers on site with AK-47s. But these prisoners began a revolt. They started by chanting.

[38:50] And then they got themselves so worked up into a frenzy that all together they began to run toward the CIA officers who were holding them. There were only a half a dozen guys there. The CIA officers opened fire on these prisoners, but they were overrun. While a lot of prisoners were shot and killed, Johnny Michael Spann, Mike, Mike Spann, with whom I worked in the counterterrorism center, was overwhelmed. He ran out of ammunition. And when the Taliban prisoners got him,

[39:22] they stomped him to death, jumping up and down on him, smashing him. He was the first one of my colleagues to be killed after 9-11 in the line of duty. Others were killed later, but Mike was the first one. Just as Kofor Black had predicted, that we're all going to have to fight this war and not all of us are going to come back. He was correct. The news coverage was almost exclusively about the uprising at Kalati-Jangvi Fort. I remember in the Washington Post news

[39:54] about the box-up at Dashdie Lely, it was literally four lines long. That was it. Nobody cared. Now, it did come up in the 2008 presidential campaign. These human rights campaigners were serious about wanting an investigation. Then candidate Senator Barack Obama said, if I'm elected president, I am going to instruct the National Security Council to immediately begin an investigation of the so-called box-up at Dashdie Lely. We all celebrated that. And then as soon as he was elected, he said, well, on second thought,

[40:25] better to let sleeping dogs lie. I was not inclined to let sleeping dogs lie. Certainly not that one. The presence of those two guys in their jeans and black t-shirts demanded real investigation. Was the CIA involved in the box-up? It's a simple question. Yes or no? And if the answer is yes, what were they doing there? Did they know that there was no air for the prisoners? Did they know that there was no water? And if they did know, that's a war crime. It was the CIA's idea to truck them into the desert.

[40:56] Now, I've been around when decisions like that are made on the spur of the moment or casually without anybody even considering worst case scenarios. That was a worst case scenario. At the same time, knowing that General Dostom was involved should have been a red flag to anybody on the headquarters side. If Dostom is involved, you want to double-check and triple-check that things are going the way they're supposed to be going. Not that people are being crammed like cattle into a cattle carrier, but with no air and no water.

[41:28] Six weeks after I sent the letter, again, that was under Kerry's signature, one of my colleagues walked into my office and said, Hey, you got a response from the agency to your letter. And I said, I didn't see any response. I just checked my mail an hour ago. And he said, no, it's down in the vault. It's classified at the top secret level. Well, I only had a secret clearance at the time. I was waiting for my top secret to come back into effect. And I said, well, what did it say? It says, go fuck yourself. Okay, that was a very clear message

[41:59] that no, you are not going to investigate dashi leili or kalate jangvi or anything else. The investigation was killed immediately. Even Kerry, he's like, well, you know, well, what do we hope to accomplish? We're just going to point the finger at the agency and then the White House is going to be upset. The truth of the matter is John Kerry wanted desperately to be Secretary of State. In that period of 2008, when I didn't have a job, I started working for myself and I jinned up a couple of consulting contracts.

[42:30] Well, I had a great friend who worked for an important firm in Washington called Kissinger McClarty Associates. Yes, that Kissinger and that McClarty. Henry Kissinger broke off and Mac McClarty renamed the firm McClarty Associates. Mac McClarty was very, very kind to me. Mac McClarty had been Bill Clinton's Chief of Staff. He gave me an office and a part-time secretary just because he's a nice guy. Bill Richardson, who had been the governor of New Mexico, congressman, ambassador of the United Nations

[43:01] and Secretary of Energy was also a part of MacClarty Associates. Bill and I struck up a friendship. I liked him so much, I voted for him for president in 2008 even after he dropped out of the race. He was just such a great guy, gregarious, loud, always in a great mood. This is a guy who made things happen overseas. He was forever jetting around the world to free some hostage or carry on some kind of negotiation. He came to me one day and he said, listen, something happened, good or bad.

[43:32] Oh, it's good. It's going to be good for both of us. I invited Obama to watch the Super Bowl at my house. This was January of 2008 before the primaries had started. And he said, at halftime, we walked around the property. Bill had like 1200 acres out in New Mexico. So they're walking around the property and he said Obama put his arm around Richardson's shoulder and said, Bill, if you can deliver the Hispanic vote, Secretary of State. And he's like, oh my God, yes, I'll deliver the Hispanic vote. Bill's mom was Mexican American.

[44:04] His Spanish was fluent. He was a proud Hispanic politician. And by God, he endorsed Obama immediately and went out there and tried to drum up support in the Hispanic community. At the end of the year, Obama wins the presidency. And the day after the election, I went into the office and I saw Richardson and I said, Mr. Secretary, congratulations. He says, I want you to be my deputy chief of staff. I said, I'll take it. I said, but I want to be ambassador in the second term. I don't even care where, just somewhere, anywhere. And he said, we're going to have a good time.

[44:34] I said, oh my God, we're going to have a good time. A couple of days later, I'm in the shower. I've got the news on the radio. I'm listening to Washington, DC's all news station, WTOP. The news reader says, President-elect Barack Obama has named Senator Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State. And I said, oh, shit. So I get shaved and dressed. I go into the office and I said, I'm so sorry. And he said, ah, they promised me something. Is your friend, he named a friend of mine, is he still on the transition team for intelligence?

[45:04] Yeah. Would you tell him that I wouldn't mind being CIA director? I said, yeah, sure. I call my buddy and I said, I'm talking to Richardson and he wants to be CIA director. My buddy says, really? We're not even really considering him. He's not on the list, but we'll put him on the list, but I don't think it's going to happen. And I said, all right, I'll tell him. Another week or so passes. Again, I'm in the shower. I've got the news going. And the news reader says, President-elect Obama has named Governor Bill Richardson, Secretary of Commerce. And I thought, huh, Secretary of Commerce. Go into the office.

[45:35] There he is, Mr. Secretary. Congratulations. And he says to me, what the fuck do I know about commerce? Tell me that. What do I know? I said, no, no, we can make something out of this. There's the foreign commercial service. There's the international trade rep. We can do something here. And then you become Secretary of State in the second term. I don't know. I don't like it, he says. Another week passes. I'm in the shower again. Got the news cranked. Former New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson has withdrawn his nomination as Secretary of Commerce.

[46:35] that the speechwriter had slaved over for days. He says, you know, I was supposed to be the Secretary of State. I invited President Obama to my house for Christmas. After Christmas dinner, we went for a walk around the neighborhood and Obama put his arm around my shoulder and said, John, if you endorse me first, before even the Kennedys, Secretary of State. So I endorsed him. People forget I was the first one who endorsed him. Kennedy endorsed him a week later, but I endorsed him first. I was supposed to be the Secretary of State.

[47:06] I'm making this motion of my finger across my throat like, cut, cut, stop talking. Richardson has exactly the same story. Obama promised Secretary of State to 20 different people if they would do X, Y and Z form. Welcome to Washington. That's how things work. And these guys were both shocked that they didn't get the Secretary of State position that Hillary Clinton got it. Afterwards, I said, Senator, you can't tell that story in public. It's a bad look. I know, I know, he says, I'm still pissed off about it because I should be Secretary of State.

[47:36] I said, well, that's what Richardson says. He's supposed to be Secretary of State. The only other time I ever gave him unsolicited advice was that every time he talked about Syria, he would always say, my dear friend Bashar al-Assad. I told him one day, I said, Senator, you got to stop saying my dear friend Bashar al-Assad. Every Lebanese in Washington is calling me, asking me what the fuck my boss is doing, calling this murderous dictator my dear friend. And Kerry said, well, he and I connected and we rode motorcycles together to the Golan Heights. We really hit it off.

[48:07] We really understand each other. That's great. But he's a genocidal dictator and you can't call him my dear friend. I know, I know, I'll stop. Okay. It was clear to me from the very beginning of that job that Kerry wanted nothing more in life than to be Secretary of State. And to be Secretary of State, he couldn't risk pissing off the president or the national security advisor or the CIA. It's not unusual to get a lunch invitation from either a foreign diplomat or from a journalist in Washington.

[48:38] I would always clear it with my boss. It's part of the job to go liaise with them and talk about international affairs and foreign elections and things like that. That was normal. We did that all the time. But I wasn't actually living a normal existence. On the surface, it appeared normal. But underneath the surface, I was under intense investigation. Nothing was as it seemed.

[55:27] And then I just finished my day and went home. On January 16th, 2012, I took the subway downtown. I walked over to the FBI's Washington field office. One of the two agents that I was supposed to meet was waiting for me at the entrance. I will admit to you that I was nervous and I said something to Catherine before I left. I said, you know, this just doesn't smell right to me. There's literally nobody else in the federal government that can help the FBI with whatever it is they need to do. Why me? I'm out. I've been out.

[55:57] Why pull me back in? And she said, well, just feel them out and see what they want. I went down there. The one was waiting for me at the entrance. Couldn't possibly have been any friendlier. Takes me up to a vaulted room. I meet the bad cop, the one who was rude from the outset. Sat down. The good cop asked me where I was from originally and I sat down from north of Pittsburgh. Oh, you're a Steelers fan? I said, yeah, I'm a big Steelers fan. Oh, Rothless Burger had a heck of a season this year. Yeah, yeah, he had a great season. And the other guys just sitting there staring at me and I'm thinking, the fuck is his problem?

[56:28] I was just so oblivious. At first it was football. It was about mutual friends that we had. And then one of them said, I just watched Charlie Wilson's War and I noticed in your book, you said that Gus Davricatus, who was played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, was your mentor at the agency. What was Gus like? Yeah, Gus is a bona fide American hero. He was awesome. He was mean and but he was great and a great friend. And we went on and on.

[56:58] The bad cops just sitting there giving me the death stare. That led to other parts of my book. Well, when you said X, didn't the agency give you pushback for that? No, I got everything cleared from the Publications Review Board. It was a battle. It took me nine months to write the book. It took me 22 months to get it cleared. And they left 90 pages on the floor. But everything that was in the book, I got it cleared. The questions are becoming more and more pointed. They're asking me about Pakistan. You know, you gave an interview in which you said,

[57:29] this and that didn't appear in the book. Did they take that out? And I remember thinking, what the heck is going on here? And I opened the bottle of water that they had sitting there. At this point, I'm sitting there for an hour and 20 minutes. And we haven't yet gotten to the Japanese ambassador. But their questions are really pointed. And then finally one of them says, there was a catastrophic leak to the Guantanamo defense attorneys. And they start laying these pictures in front of me. Do you know any of these people? I'm looking at the pictures.

[58:00] Nope, nope, nope, nope. I don't know any of these people. This one I do know. Boy, he got fat. He put on maybe a hundred pounds. I know him. But he had never, ever been under cover. He's an overt employee on his LinkedIn. He says, central intelligence agency. The final picture was of my last boss at the CIA. It was a snap taken off of CNN. He was also over and out there giving interviews. I said, all these other people don't have any idea who they are. They were all taken clandestinely outside the entrance

[58:31] of an undercover CIA facility in the Virginia suburbs. I said, I didn't even know that the CIA had that facility. They said, we believe that you're the source of this leak. And you should know that we're raiding your house right now, as we speak. My response to that deflected part of the blow, I'm grateful to the combination of luck, wits, and training that gave me the presence of mind at that key moment to tell them calmly, but with definite urgency, I want to speak to my attorney, and I mean right now.

[59:05] In the business of spying, you never want to be the last person in the room to realize what's going on. But there I was. In the next episode, the shit hits the fan and starts flying in all directions. The government's case against me was almost entirely nonsense. Almost. I, there's the rub. Still, I was determined to battle it out to the bitter end, to have my day in court, to stand up for doing the right thing. But alas, grand plans and the legal system don't often play well together. Our justice system isn't always just.

[59:37] And when the CIA is out for blood, it's likely there will be blood. If you're enjoying the podcast, please don't forget to like it, rate it, review it, or share it on whatever platform you find us. It really does help us grow. Until next time, I'm John Kiriakou. Dead Drop is written by John Kiriakou and Alan Katz. Costart and Touchstone Productions produces the podcast and John Kiriakou, Alan Katz and Nick Mechanic are its executive producers.
