[06:39] traits. There's the stratospheric self-esteem of narcissism. Add to that fearlessness, ruthlessness, impulsivity, the thrill-seeking rush of psychopathy, and a Machiavellian bet toward deceitfulness. But unfortunately, I wasn't feeling any of that right there and then. As I stood in that stinking little cell, my mind reeling, I simply couldn't think anymore. Everything felt just too hard, too pointless. I climbed up onto the bunk the CO had pointed to, the one awaiting my personalization, and I fell asleep, despite how awful the mattress was,
[07:13] and despite the fact that I had no pillow because they were out. My tough luck. Two hours later, I awoke, keenly aware that I wasn't alone in the cell. Some of my cellmates had come home. That club would include two Mexicans serving 24 and 20 year sentences for drugs, another Mexican serving 15 years for drugs, a Puerto Rican serving 7.5 years for drug conspiracy. You seeing a pattern here? The one exception among my cellmates was the former auditor of Cuyahoga County, Ohio, who was doing a long sentence for corruption. In fact,
[07:45] all of my cellmates were decent guys. We actually enjoyed each other's company. It wasn't until day 5 that I finally got telephone privileges so I could call my attorneys and tell them where I was and what the hell had happened. My lawyers were surprised, but not that surprised. It turns out judges can only make recommendations as to prison assignments. The Bureau of Prisons has the ultimate word and they decided that I should serve my sentence in a real prison. Even if my lawyer had filed a motion asking the judge to move me, it would be another two
[08:16] years before I would even get a hearing. As my sentence was reducible to 23 months, I'd likely be home before the hearing even took place. I was just going to have to tough it out. By then, I'd already begun to figure out at least a little bit of how life worked at Loretto. Bad as the unit at Loretto was, it could have been a thousand times worse. Violence was relatively rare. At Loretto, most of it would break out over what to watch on TV. The kind of violence we associate with prisons is much, much more prevalent in medium
[08:47] security facilities and in maximum security penitentiaries or pens. Their violence really is a way of life. Serious, injury inducing fights are routine. By contrast, Loretto is what's called a low security prison. Yeah, there are double fences topped with concertina wire, motion detectors and roving patrols, but there are no guard towers and none of the COs were armed. Much of that sense of order flowed from the larger pecking order and from the smaller pecking orders within each faction. Each faction had a shot collar, a trusted advocate
[09:21] from the group who could mediate disputes within the group. Shot collars regularly sat with each other to mediate on their faction's behalf. The system worked out most problems before they led to violence. As the new guy, I immediately drew planning of attention. Where you sleep, which bunk in which cell, that's all assigned by the prison. Where you eat, the tables where you'd be accepted, that is decided by the prisoners sitting at those tables. On my very first day, the tall pasty skinhead with a swastika covering his entire neck asked
[09:56] me point blank. Are you a fag? No. The shorter, fatter one with a white power, swastika tattoos covering his arms had the next question. Are you a rat? No. To be honest, the question surprised me. I blurted out, I didn't have anybody else in my case. And then they had one last question. Are you a chomo? I had never heard the term before. Chomo, the tall one repeated slowly, like I was stupid. Child molester. Of course I'm not a child molester, I said. Their questions answered. My two new, I guess I could call them friends,
[10:31] informed me that I was now invited to sit with the Aryans in the cafeteria. Great. In prison, factions are a fact of life. There's very little mixing of the races other than during sporting events. Whites eat with whites, blacks eat with blacks, Hispanics with Hispanics. You could have friends who were from different factions or different races, but you could never, ever eat with them or watch TV together. The TV room was also segregated. In addition to the Aryans who were
[11:01] mostly just hillbillies and the chomo rat faction, there were blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, Muslims and Italians. At the time I became part of its community, Loretto had 1,369 prisoners. For the record, I never, ever called myself an inmate. I never thought of myself that way. In my mind I was always a prisoner. About 50% of the prison population was black, 30% was Hispanic and 20% was white. But here's where Loretto was unique. Most of those white prisoners, that 20% of the
[11:37] prison population, they were pedophiles. Pedophiles are reviled throughout the prison system, but Loretto had a reputation as being a haven for pedophiles. In other low-security prisons, pedophiles are frequently banned from the TV room. If they want to watch TV, they have to do it while standing in the hallway outside the TV room. At Loretto, they hung out in the TV room mostly without anybody bothering them. They walked around freely in the yard. Some carried on as if they owned the place, but life wasn't exactly perfect for them. Though violence was rare,
[12:09] whatever violence there was usually landed on the pedophiles. Many weren't allowed in their own rooms by their roommates except to sleep and during count times. Occasionally one would get banned from the yard altogether. Here's a fun fact. There are no pedophiles in medium-security prisons or in penitentiaries because it's too dangerous for them. Now, if they happened to kill the child or children that they molested, in that case they would spend their sentences in a medium security prison's solitary confinement unit for their own safety. Let's go back to the Arians
[12:41] and explore them and their motives here. Most of the guys calling themselves Arian were pretty much, I hate to say it, toothless, dim-witted rednecks who'd spent most of their lives in prison almost always for manufacturing meth or dealing in huge quantities of marijuana. Their tattoos were prolific. A boring mix of swastikas, so many swastikas, German SS insignias, and lots of unoriginal, meaningless cliches like death before dishonor with the letter
[13:13] B and the number 4 standing in for before. Or there was bloodline of champions and last of a dying breed, whatever those were supposed to mean. You could talk to them about NASCAR, weightlifting, making meth, or get rich quick schemes. They had spent considerable time thinking about these things, but bring up literally anything else and they were clueless. The Blacks tended to have three shot collars, an overall boss, a representative of the Bloods Gang, and a representative of the Crips Gang. The Bloods and the Crips generally kept their distance
[13:46] from one another. Remember this was a low security prison, a very real step up in prison conditions and living standards. Most prisoners did not want to risk going back to a medium or to a pen. That said, most of the violence, having to do with what to watch on TV, was black on black or black on Hispanic. The Hispanics as a group were complicated. Every Hispanic prisoner had to belong to the Pisces Prison Gang. If they didn't join, they would get a good hearty beating
[14:17] and then be forced to check themselves into protective custody. Then they'd get shipped off to another prison where the exact same experience would almost certainly repeat itself. An unwritten rule demanded that all Pisces members had to work out every single day. That included calisthenics, weightlifting, and cardio. When the weather was good, there was also soccer and baseball. Every single day, why? Because if a race riot ever broke out, the Hispanics knew that they'd be able to defend themselves and hold their own. Still, Hispanics were not monolithic.
[14:51] Hispanic prisoners also identified by country of origin and by street gang. Dominicans, for example, tended to associate only with other Dominicans. Mexicans associated with Mexicans and Puerto Ricans with Puerto Ricans. Puerto Ricans and Mexicans generally looked down on each other, while everyone looked down on the Dominicans. The Custer Ricans, the Venezuelans, the Colombians thought they were better than everyone else. While no one really respected the Salvadorans or their Hondurans, each subgroup had their own shot color. Outside the prison walls, gangs like MS-13,
[15:25] the Norteños, the Buracos, and the Zetas were all deadly rivals. But on the inside, everyone's gang identity was subjugated to the Pisces identity. Infighting was strictly forbidden. Muslims were also a diverse group with lots and lots of surprising pockets. There were several Arab, Kurdish, Indian, Afghan, and Pakistani prisoners at Laredo who were all either Sunni or Shia Muslim. But the largest Muslim faction at Laredo by far was African American converts to
[15:57] the nation of Islam. Also on my first day, not too long after the Aryans embraced me, so did the nation of Islam. Two hugely built African Americans wearing skull caps approached me holding a newspaper. One of them said, You the dude from the CIA? Yes, I said where are they? Reverend Farrakhan says you're a hero of the Muslim people. We want you to know that you won't have any problems with us. I said thanks. And they just walked away. We never spoke to each other again. And I never had any problems with the Black Muslims.
[16:29] One group that didn't approach me that day, though I had more respect for and in time closer ongoing contact with them were the Italians. I found the Italians to be honest, honorable, and generous. Hanging out with them could make you feel like you were in a Scorsese movie. Dinner was always served at eight. Usually it was pasta with three cheeses, shredded chicken, fresh tomatoes, mushrooms, basil, lots and lots of garlic, a delicate white wine sauce, maybe even some sweet and hot Italian sausage. I never understood how in the
[17:03] world they got all that stuff into Loretto. And I never asked. What I do know is this. My good friend Mark Lanzalotti made fine dining, restaurant quality Italian food with a garbage bucket full of water and a live electrical wire. It's truly mind blowing how clever people can be when they really, really want something. Most of New York's five families were represented at Loretto. Gambino, Banana, Lucchese, Colombo and Genevieve. There was a sizable contingent from Philadelphia, the Bruno Scarfo family. And from Northern New Jersey,
[17:35] the De Calvo Contes, Boston and upstate New York were also represented. A half dozen of these guys were made men. The rest were not. Unlike all the other factions, though, the Italians did not have and did not need a shot collar. They were very tight as a group, always eating, working and socializing together because they were direct and honest in their dealings with others. The Italians commanded and received respect and admiration from pretty much every other faction in the place. They were by far my favorite people and my closest friends at
[18:11] Loretto. Oh, have I got stories to tell you? We're going to get there. Summertime and the living is easy. Am I right, John? That is one of the best parts of summer, Alan. Living really does feel easier. You're about to travel. Good thing you've got a couple of quints pieces going with you. They are as relaxed and comfortable as I want to feel. That's why, whether I'm traveling or staying at home, I reach for the same quints, go anywhere pieces again and again. Quints focuses on well made essential. They're the t-shirt I reach for
[18:42] first every time. In all seriousness, I just bought another one today. They're my favorite t-shirts too. When the ocean breeze kicks in at night, as it does here in LA, a quince lightweight cotton sweater is sublime. Perfect for travel too, which these days has all kinds of new challenges that impact how you pack. Versatility really matters. You got to pack smart like a spy. That's why a pair of quints is 100% European linen pants and a couple of linen shirts are coming with me. They're breathable and easy to throw on. Sometimes I add a t-shirt underneath
[19:16] for a whole other look. They're the summer upgrade anyone's rotation needs. Starting at just $34, that's not a typo. No, it's not. Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman, so you're paying for exceptional quality, not for brand markup. Ethical factories matter. They matter to me and quince now has all kinds of other essentials beyond clothing. Essentials for travel, home, everyday life. But it all starts with great summertime threads that just feel like they belong
[26:21] metal, actually, like the faceplate from a wall plug. That's attached to two live wires. The face plate then goes into a bucket of water and the wires go directly into a wall outlet. The electricity causes the water to boil quickly. Then the food you want to cook goes into a plastic bag, which then goes into the boiling water. Pasta can cook directly in the water, no plastic bag needed. As cooking methods go, it's incredibly dangerous, but cooking this way happens every single day and 99 times out of 100 CEOs will just ignore it. But this CEO didn't ignore it. Instead,
[26:56] he made a scene and he screamed at the prisoner for cooking. He shouted, Are you fucking stupid? How many fucking times do I have to tell you no fucking cooking? Prisoner pulled the stinger out of the water by the wire, still attached to the wall socket and tossed it to the CEO who caught it without thinking. Zap! He got fried. He died in the hospital three days later. Still using the tournament with an online sports book, time to ditch the app and join Kalshee, America's number one prediction market platform. Kalshee is live
[34:08] cutting off those who cross me and trying always to stay ahead of the CO's and other prison administrators. In the next episode, I'll take you even.